Those of you who read this blog regularly will be aware that we do not often accept guest blogs. If we do they have to be decent quality and fit with the messages we are trying to reinforce.
When I read this from Charlotte I wanted it on our site immediately. I hope you enjoy it and visit her site.
To Find A Purpose
I found my purpose in the most unexpected way. I spent the most part of my life feeling terrible over the fact that everyone my age had a talent, a skill or an idea of what they wanted to do with their life.
I felt so overwhelmed when I was asked what I wanted to do in my future, or even what makes me happy. I felt like I was walking a very lonely path where all I was doing was just existing. I wanted something more but there was no piece that could fit my puzzled mind.
My father always reassured me, telling me that he also didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do, the man with so many different qualifications and skills in many different areas. I know he wanted to remind me that time is no limit and that I can rest in the comfort of knowing I am not falling behind, but the idea of not knowing what I wanted to do in my 40’s, only made me feel worse.
In a sad sense of irony, it was my father in the end who led me to find my purpose. After he died in 2014 I was even more lost and confused than ever, I even tried to take my own life. I wasn’t really thrilled about the idea of living, especially in a world without my dad but I knew I had to keep going.
Two years ago, I quit my job for the sake of my own mental health, and although waking up without an alarm and having all the free time in the world was exciting, I soon became bored and was overwhelmed with the guilt of doing nothing.
I started to write, I used to love writing stories and lyrics as a child, and after many failed attempts and restarts, I realised that what mattered to me was my dad, and most of all, how suicide affects both the victim and the families.
After I self-published my book, I just sort of fell into advocacy, and I know do what I can to raise awareness of mental health 24/7. Being able to provide support and understanding for mental health is what gives me purpose, but it is more than that, it’s my passion.
I know that I want to spend my life making the world more mental health friendly, and that is what I will do for as long as it makes me happy or as long as it is needed.
The thing is, it can be painful to not know who you are or who you want to be, to feel like you have no drive, no ‘real ability’ and no guide to help you. Yet, sometimes our purpose can be someone more simply than changing the world, I also have the purpose to be a loving wife and an adoring dog mum. I have the purpose to support my younger brother and to ensure that I look after myself.
You see, we are not all made to do the same things, we are born so beautifully unique. The fact that you do not have the same abilities as your siblings or classmates is not a sign of failure or lack of talent, it’s a sign that you are here for something else.
So, while I hate saying it, sometimes life does have a way of working itself out. I didn’t force myself to find my place in the world, I didn’t search for it, I just kept trying the things that appealed to me and most of the time, it didn’t stick, but I still made it to where I am today.
Maybe, just maybe, a purpose is more about simply living, than anything else.
Charlotte Underwood. Mental Health Advocate and Author.
See more at Charlotteunderwoodauthor.com