None Of Us Is Perfect. Yet…

Perfect scene

Let those who cast the first stone…

It is with deliberate irony that I start this article off with a misquote of a sentence from The Gospel According to John”, chapter 8, verses 3–7

Let those who cast the first stone be without sin.

For those that prefer less religious referencing maybe…those in glass houses should not throw stones

Both statements suggest that none of us are perfect so who are we to judge.

 

None of us is perfect

 

These are wise words. They are to be taken notice of. Sometimes, actually quite often, they are misinterpreted. 

Many of us enjoy judging others so much that we seek to pursue perfection so that we have a lofty position from which to look down upon others.

If I am perfect, I can judge you.

 

None of us is perfect.

 

To judge others is often to imply shame.

Shame on you.

Perfectionism is often a core aspect of an unhealthy relationship with shame.

If I manufacture the persona and image of this perfect life I lead, this perfect happy go lucky, sorted, nice personality then you won’t see the imperfect person with flaws that is hiding behind the image.

You won’t see my shame.

 

None of us is perfect.

 

Furthermore, if I judge you I divert attention away from me onto you. So the world won’t see my flaws.

It is common to observe a lot of perfect lifestyle and persona crafting going on on social media.

It’s also common to observe a lot of stone throwing in the same places.

I think even more stone throwing goes on inside our heads.

 

None of us is perfect.

 

Have you noticed the language and physicality that is engineered around a judge in the law courts?

They preside “over” a court.

They “hand down” their judgements

They sit higher up than the rest of the court.

It’s about power and position. 

When we seek to judge others we seek to elevate ourselves above them. We assume that if we are better then we are allowed to judge.

 

None of us is perfect

 

What is it about judging others that is so addictive?

Have you noticed how you feel when judged by others?

I feel defensive and seek to defend myself, often, by the same method. Judging back.

The thing is, that feeling of superiority is only momentary but it is addictive. Otherwise we wouldn’t need to do it so much.

 

None of us is perfect.

 

Disconnection

The moment I judge you, is the moment I disconnect from you.

I have to do this to avoid understanding why you may behave in that way.

If I really understood why you behave the way you do I wouldn’t judge and I would lose my power.

Judgement is the opposite of empathy. Empathy is connection. Judgement is disconnection.

 

Instead of making such an effort to build an image of perfection. Instead of investing so much energy justifying to ourselves why we are allowed to judge others. How about we simply acknowledge our own imperfections and allow ourselves to understand and empathise with the rest of the world. By doing so we could create a fairer, more just, much nicer world to live in.

 

It starts with us.

 

None of us is perfect.

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