A report in Medical News Today last week reported the two directional link between experiencing partner violence and depression. I have to say, as a specialist in anger management and emotional resilience, it does not surprise me.
Rage and depression – two sides of the same coin
I feel sorry for our GPs. Many of my clients tell me they have tried asking their GP for help with anger. In many instances the GP has prescibed anti-depressants. When I have a chance to chat with medics, they explain they don’t have any other medication that is more appropriate. Of course, referral for ‘talking therapies’ such as CBT are available, but they are not specialised for anger, and many CBT practitioners refer on to our services at CalmPeople.
Meanwhile, several of my clients attend an anger management / emotional resilience course recognisng they are suppressing their anger. They often find it difficult to handle conflict and prefer to be a people-pleaser whatever the consequences.
People-pleaser meets raging bull
The research also mentions the possibility that depressed people are attracted to violent partners. Long-term intimidation and interrogation will drain the self-esteem of even the most resilient person, but if you are already suppressing emotions, avoiding conflicts and trying to keep it all in, it doesn’t take much imagination to see the link here.
So the message is simple – feeling angry is normal and healthy. What you do with that feeling, how you express it, can make the difference between emotional domestic violence, and depression.
A Third way
Neither of these are healthy ways to handle anger. There is an alternative. Recognise and appreciate the angry feeling, learn assertive ways to be clear about how this is affecting you, and choose your battles carefully. Become emotionally resilient – the CalmPeople way.
So when the GP offers anti-depressants, think of contacting CalmPeople. Many people have done so, and subsequently reduced or avoided medication.
Julian Hall & Paula Backen are emotional resilience, stress and anger management specialists based in Derby & Birmingham.
To find out more call 07850614042 and ask for Julian 07950344658 and ask for Paula.
If you want to know more about the anger management, stress management, and emotional resilience courses run in Derby & Birmingham call the above numbers or click here