I was attending a seminar. It was a fantastic, positivity filled, energetic seminar. Delegates were encouraged to get up and speak about their experiences. A lady who I knew stood up to speak. I knew this would be a challenge for her.
This lady has low confidence, although it would be better to say that she is growing her confidence. She has done a little bit of work with me. I am not, however, taking credit for her growing confidence. She has been working with another professional who I respect and admire, and really, the person who best deserves credit for the progress she has and continues to make is her.
This lady with low confidence levels stood up and addressed over seventy delegates. She revealed that as a result of the work she had been doing she had a realisation. Her realisation?…it was that she just needed to…..
“Think less and say yes!”
As a result of putting this into practice her comfort zone had been stretched beyond her own belief. She had experienced new experiences, achieved things she thought she would never achieve (including public speaking) and her confidence grew every day.
As she articulated this to the audience I sat there inspired and she started me thinking about what stops us saying “yes” in the first place. For me that is most often fear. We so often say “no” to the invites that may take us out of our comfort zone because of fear. It could be fear of failure, making a fool of ourselves, losing respect or any number of any other fears that are equally valid to us.
There is a paradox here. We may say “no” and stop that encounter but we have not got rid of the fear. In fact the fear stays and it stays with our permission. The more we allow it to stay, then the more it grows. As it grows it develops a sense of purpose which is that it needs to grow even more to sustain itself. The way it sustains its need for growth is to engineer more use of the word “no.”
Every time I say “no” to an invitation to step out of my comfort zone my zone of comfort shrinks a little and the fear grows a little more. Every time I experience that tiny moment of shrinkage my ability to participate in and enjoy life is further reduced.
Every time I say “yes” I start a process of reversal and renewal.
So why not make a small change that could lead to really big things by adopting that lovely phrase “Think less and just say Yes!” You may be surprised by the results.
Things I may need to say “yes” to….
- Dancing at a party when I am sober
- Introducing myself to strangers at social functions
- Picking up the phone and asking contacts for their business
What do you need to say yes to?