The purpose of this test is to help you understand your preferred methods of communicating anger. We provide an overall anger score, and separate scores in each of three different ways we can communicate our anger.
We advise people to consider the scores both as a whole and in relation to each other. Below is an explanation of each of the different ways of communicating anger.
Aggressive
This may take the form of losing your normal veneer of control and letting go of all the tension inside you. There may be shouting and screaming or punching walls. It could be that you slam doors and break plates or maybe you are the space invader, intimidating people with the look and the presence.
Whichever way, none are healthy, and infect others with your negative energy leading to unhealthy relationships. It can become quite addictive. The controlled assertive muscle becomes underused and weak so that the slightest issue results in an outburst. Afterwards, you are likely to feel guilty and ashamed, and these feelings intensify if anyone tries to talk to you about it.
Passive Aggressive
There is nothing worse for a relationship than being continually subjected to a barrage of passive aggression. This is where you will try to convince yourself and everyone else that you are not really angry, but you cannot help but leak the truth. Subsequently you will find yourself withholding affection for your partner or support for your colleagues.
You may talk about the person who has wound you up behind their back. Maybe you are a professional grudge-bearer and in truth you hate conflict, so you try to hide the fact that you are in conflict. It’s not healthy and it is likely that one day you will explode with aggressive energy that is uncontrollable.
Assertive
You are aware when you feel angry and you calmly explain the issues and how you would like to be treated differently. You own up for and take responsibility for your part in the conflict.
While you are clear about what you need, you will not get into another conflict with the person who annoys, or continues to behave in exactly the same way.
What next?
This, as with any test, simply gives you more information to work with. Everything in life is about choice. You can choose to do nothing. You can choose to call us and discuss how appropriate a workshop may be for you. You may simply find the limited insights generated by the test help you deal with anger better. Whatever you choose we are happy that you visited our site and took advantage of this test.
If you would like to find out about our workshops or 1-2-1 work you can get more information here for individuals, or here for organisations.