The internet is a great place for finding out about stuff you are interested in so it’s no surprise to us that people would use it to search for “how to control anger” or “tactics and strategies to deal with anger.” In fact, in the past, we have positively encouraged it by producing free down loads with (you got it) strategies and tips for dealing with anger on them. We, however, have stopped. Let me tell you why.
You need more than a download.
If you are searching the internet for Tactics and Strategies to control your anger then clearly you have realised, or have been made to realise, that your anger is not acceptable and that you need help. That means you need real help from someone that knows what they are doing. If it was as easy as simply typing in “Tactics and Strategies to control anger” and downloading the information then we would all do it. It’s not that simple.
You may think that is the sum total of what’s available
Many of our clients have been on a long search to find someone who can help. They may have approached their doctor and found out they do very little and at best recommend 5 sessions of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. They may have spoken to therapists that don’t specialise in dealing with anger and leave the conversation feeling that they are not sure about the level of expertise that’s available. When they finally find us we don’t want them to think that the total of our expertise and help can be condensed into a few paragraphs. We are really good at Anger Management. Those that work with us love what we do and enjoy the feeling of being released from a pattern destructive behaviour spirals.
It gives you an excuse not to change
After speaking with numbers of people that engaged with our site and called us we realised that providing a free download with anger management tips and strategies was giving them an excuse not to change. A lot of our potential clients are in a position of being asked to change their behaviour and, at the time, are reluctant and not fully committed to change. To grab a download, try to use it to change embedded habits without any in depth understanding is a dead end strategy for anger management. This course is doomed to failure in the long term. Of course having tried and failed you can say anger management doesn’t work.
For this to work you need to understand yourself and what’s happening when you get angry. Once you know that then you can employ strategies and tactics that will help you control your anger.
It delay’s commitment
For those we spoke to who, having used our free download and failed, that still spoke to us we realised this delays commitment. They took the document with strategies and tactics for controlling anger and tried to use it. For a while they were calmer. This was more out of luck and through effort to stay calm. Then they progressively got angrier and angrier. By the time they met us they were at breaking point and, often, their relationships was gone. We could have helped them so much earlier if they had not been lulled into thinking there was a quick cure. A another article called Danny’s Story describes the process people often got through before they get to us. A free download would extend that process.
It helps abusers
I am not suggesting that you are an abuser. There are, however, people, both male and female that seek to control their partner with anger and aggression. Pretending to change is just one of the tactics and strategies they use to control their partner and we don’t want to support that.
Finally, really good help for an emotional problem does not come for free. Have you heard that phrase “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is?” Well free downloads that promise to help you change fit under that heading.
Hopefully you will recognise that we wish to help you. If you would like to help yourself feel free to call us. It’s not free, but it’s not expensive and we are happy to spend a little of our time talking through your options with you.
That’s why we don’t provide Strategies and Tactics to control your anger as a free download anymore because we believe they do more harm than good.
Calm People work all over the UK and Europe. To find out more about how we can help you call our Head Office on 07850 614 042 and ask for Julian, or our West Midlands Regional Office on 07950 344 658 and ask for Paula.