What Anger Management IS and what it is NOT

By  •  October 25, 2013 at 12:25 pm  •  1 Comment

Ever wondered what Anger Management is really about? May be this will help you.

There are many assumptions made about anger management. Sometimes it is the fault of the film ‘Anger Management’ starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler which, let’s acknowledge, is made for entertainment. This creates stereotypes in people’s mind as to how they may be treated, if they were to join a course.   Another widely held stereotype is that anger needs to be eradicated.

What Anger Management is NOT

  • Anger management is NOT just for exploders. You can guess what an exploder is. The vast majority of us implode and only explode on the odd occasion.  It does NOT mean we are NOT angry, and pretending we are NOT doesn’t work. We leak the truth. This ruins relationships in a secret, insidious and painful way.
  • It is NOT about blaming and shaming. Dealing with unhealthy anger is NOT about public confessions and painful repentance.   However, we do hold people to account for their behaviour and expect people to take responsibility.
  • Anger management is NOT about public ridicule and exposure. Everything we do whether on a one to one basis or in a workshop is confidential.
  • It is NOT about never being angry. Anger management is NOT about never expressing how you feel. Anger is a natural feeling that we all experience on a regular basis. Denial or suppression is unhealthy and makes relationships more difficult to manage.
  • It is NOT “count to 10 and everything will be ok.” We know, and you know, because you have tried it, that it does NOT work.  Anger management is about gaining a better understanding of you and the impact you have on others.   It IS about powerful insights into your behaviour coupled with strategies and tactics.
  • It is NOT delivered in one day. If you need help and opt for the cheapest and quickest route you will get what you pay for. That does NOT meant that most expensive is best but one day solutions to an emotional management challenge do NOT work.
  • It is NOT like the film. The film Anger Management had a lot of material that was close to the truth. It also had a lot that was pure fiction. Potentially the most damaging construct they used was to suggest that the facilitator will be manipulative and devious and wind you up in the same way Jack Nicholson does to Adam Sandler. We help you to understand you.

What Anger Management IS

  • It IS really good, deep down, personal development.  This IS about developing an understanding of you and then changing from the inside out. You will be spending two and a half days on a course. This IS really focussed time on your self development.
  • Anger Management IS a holistic process. Please ignore your natural desire (if you have one) to stop reading at the use of the word holistic because it has associations of crystals, tree hugging hippies and meditation for you. Anger is NOT about one thing. We deliver a whole set of tools that you can use to develop yourself and, over time, manage your full emotional range.
  • Anger management IS about understanding you and taking responsibility for your emotional reactions. I know that about eighty percent of the times I get angry it IS about me and NOT the person I am angry with. Therefore if I can deal with what is going on inside me I can, over time, greatly reduce the number of times I get angry.
  • It IS about more than anger. Anger is often the force we use to express ourselves when we are hurt, sad or scared. It is about managing stress, building our self esteem and NOT attacking others in order for us to feel better. It IS closely linked to stress and results in huge demand from organisations to run our unique stress workshops .

So in summary Anger Management is NOT for freaks, angry monsters and violent perpetrators.  It IS about normal people accepting themselves as emotional beings and being able to manage their complex range of emotions in a healthy way. It IS about being able to have healthy loving relationships with our loved ones.

So in reality it IS emotional management. So why do we call it Anger Management? Maybe you can answer that one for us.

To find out more about how we can help you call our Head Office on 01332 869211 and ask for Julian or Leigh or our West Midlands Regional Office on 0121 439 9162 and ask for Paula.

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About the Author:

With more than 20 years experience working in challenging corporate environments and dealing with change programmes, Julian has gained extensive experience in counselling, facilitation and training techniques. Julian has an MBA from Nottingham Business School, has trained with the British Association of Anger Management and is an experienced and qualified practitioner of established coaching tools such as Myers Briggs.
Julian has built Calm People into an organisation that encompasses everything from delivering workshops on how to identify and deal with anger, to helping individuals to combat stress by improving their emotional resilience. The company’s continually evolving mindset has led to them developing an innovative training product for HGV and Bus/Coach drivers, technology assisted wellbeing packages, and a unique and exclusive Executive Resilience Retreat.

Whether you are an individual seeking to cope with challenging circumstances or an organisation looking to support cultural change Calm People can help you.

 

One Comment

  1. Sheena Smith / October 30, 2013 at 7:08 am /Reply

    That movie was the exact opposite of what anger management should be. It is supposed to help people deal with their anger issues through therapy sessions that will somehow calm the mind and instill in them the principles of self-control and self-discipline.

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