Archive for: February, 2013

Emotions at work

Julian Hall  •  February 25

Last month I visited a large company in the Midlands, where I needed to sit with a client in a quiet room for an hour or so. I was shown into an office which was relatively bare excepting a desk, computer and a couple of chairs. My attention was drawn to a large notice taped to the middle of the desk. It was several se…

There is a saying about holding a grudge. It is “holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It’s quite a hard hitting message telling you that holding anger inside you for years only does your health harm, and it does. So why do so many of us hold our anger inside us? Most of the tim…

We often refer to unhealthy anger as a power game. It’s our way of holding on to and increasing our personal feeling of power in an unhealthy way. In an abusive relationship it can even be our way of fighting back or regaining power we feel we have lost but also it can be our way of further reducing the power of the pe…

The Daily Mail ran an article on office behaviours For me this area is really worth a look at in more detail. The article had some really interesting statistics from a Pru Health survey. It said Half of us admit to regular meltdowns at work, whether it’s ranting and raving, or throwing staplers — or even punches. Forty…

For me, in my experience of life and the work that I do, bullying is all about self esteem. It is about the self esteem of the victim and the self esteem of the bully. Other than in exceptional circumstances the bully has low self esteem. What they are trying to achieve, in the only way they know how, is to boost their…

I have been thinking a little more about the theme from other blogs on self esteem. We teach that it is an individual adult’s responsibility to take care of their own needs and not expect others to do so for them. This makes them both emotionally mature and independent. We also teach parents that it is their responsibi…

This story has the names changed. Other than that it is true. I first had contact with Danny through my website. He enquired about courses and I gave him some details and added him to my mailing list. I heard nothing more from him for four weeks and then he called me. He had some questions about the course such when th…

If you want to deal with your anger but are too ashamed to take that next step read on. We get many calls from people wanting to deal with their anger. They speak with us, but they are afraid to take the ultimate step of booking on the course that will change them for good. Sometimes this is because part of them is com…

This subject was brought to mind when an article on anger in sports was run on BBC TV. Essentially England’s Rugby team coach was saying anger in sport is not good. The journalists were asking whether a certain amount of anger and aggression is necessary in sport. What they were really saying was “does removing my ange…

There is a rule in politics for when politicians are involved in a crisis of their own making. It goes something like this. Apologise. Move on. Do not return, if you can help it, to analyse the whys, the issues and the consequences. One of the facts of life that those of us with anger have to get used to is, this rule…